I met with my psychiatrist (who I shall now refer to as Superstar psych, due to his reputation and status in the field of PD) and he has arranged for me to start at the Day Unit next week. Initially, I was relieved as at last, something was being done and I needed something intensive and immediate. But I am also disappointed in myself and see it as a kind of failure, as I have not been a day patient for seven years and hoped that I would never need to return. Yes, it is better than being an inpatient, which would be pointless and would have limited therapeutic value. And if I continue self-harming in this way, the consequences could be serious.
The Day Unit is a specialist PD service, based on group therapy following the Mentalisation Based Therapy model. It runs from 9 to 2.30 on weekdays, with 2 groups a day and one individual therapy session a week. It has changed since I was last there - there are much less patients now, probably only about 6 rather than 12. I know two of the staff quite well, and my therapist is someone I have had groups with in the past.
There is an art room that I can use outside of group times, and although my creativity has waned during this depressive period, maybe I can start to do some art again.
The therapy can be intense and difficult at times, and there is often conflict and tension in the groups, as we are encouraged to explore the impact we have on other group members, and the impact they have on us. Most of the patients are in their 20s and 30s and have the diagnosis of BPD. I hope I am not the oldest, at the grand old age of 36.
I start on Wednesday, after the Bank Holidays. Unil then, I have to manage by myself as the service is closed from Friday, and Superstar psych is on leave for a couple of weeks.
No comments:
Post a Comment